Today I had a little moment that seemed like the perfect place to begin.
I went outside to check on Miguel and Ricardo, they had been playing in the park (we share a community park with the neighbors). If checks are not made every 5 minutes or so I am likely to find one of my boys peeing in the neighbors window well, or down the slide....again. What I did find was two little boys that for the first part of their life missed so many experiences, engrossed in a child's right of passage, rolling over rocks to find the treasures underneath.
They were both intent on a worm they had extricated from its hole, in one long piece this time, when Ricardo gasped and then whispered, "look, ohhh... how cute." I whispered too, "what did you find?"
"Look, right here its a holy poly!" I was delighted with his attempt to name the roly poly, potato bug or whatever you call it. A year ago the only animals he could name were dogs, cats and birds. I told Hot Mama what he had said and went about the things that need doing.
Later today I have had a chance to think about that moment, two boys that I love so much, that have grown so much but still have scars. Two boys that delight and enrich our lives but we still find ourselves grieving that we were not there for them sooner. In that moment the weight of their past and my fear of the future was lifted and they were free to explore; to just be my little boys.
I think it really was a holy poly.
