Monday, December 3, 2012

Potty Mouth

I haven't blogged about the adventures of my large family lately, even though they give me lots of stories I could share.  They don't leave me with lots of time!  This I had to share.

We have been working on potty training for about a decade straight around here, OK not really but it does seem like it.  I'm sure that I have reached some sort of lifetime record for most poopy diapers changed, at one point we had 5 in diapers and one developmentally delayed teen in pull ups!  Holy Crap! Literally.  You get creative disposing of that many diapers..... that's another post.

Well, Bits has been working on potty training for almost a year and we are finally having some success, with kids who have a history of trauma it just seems to take longer and be a more difficult transition.  She is three and a half and is finally getting the hang of it. 

This is big news, in the whole community

Recently I had to attend Gellys IEP, this is a meeting with all the service providers at the school for kids who are in Special Ed classes.  No sitter, so the babies were coming with me.  The last IEP meeting the babies came with me too, about 10 minutes into that meeting both of them pooped and filled the small office with a stink cloud that you could almost taste and probably clung to everyone's clothes for the rest of the day, gak.

So when we made it through the entire meeting this time with Bits sitting in the chair next to me and Jack-Jack playing quietly in the stroller, I was thinking, yeah, who's the dad! I'm so awesome, check out my perfectly well behaved non-poopin kids.

Then Bits took control of the meeting. All the paperwork had been signed and there was some chit chat going on as people began to get up.  Bits had waited patiently and sensed here moment.  She put her hands on the table and says, "everyone"  pause until everyone is looking at her, "so... I am totally pooping in the toilet!"  She looks around the room, glowing with pride.  Nobody says anything so she continues,  "sometimes I puuuuush (making a grunting noise) and make a giant, giant daddy poop!  throwing her arms wide!

Me:  Uhhhh.....

Sideways glances at me as they all try not to show on their faces that they just imagined me on the toilet. 

It was at this point that the Speech Therapist jumped right in with enthusiasm and says, "I love to poop on the toilet!"

Bits giggles and turns to the Principal, where do you poop?  She answers that she loves to poop on the toilet too!

We all then proceed to spend the next few minutes talking about where we poop and how much we all love to poo, no seriously this really happened.  And in a totally non creepy way...It gave me so much more confidence in Gelly's teachers.

The combination of a three year old with a personality as big as the sun and a bunch of Special Ed providers, that really get kids, made our poopy meeting kind of touching.  If they could recognize that my three year old needed this fecal fan club (that was funny) and jumped right in to encourage her, they were going to do a great job for my Gelly too.

It did encourage my little potty mouth however...

We have now talked about pooping with everyone at the pre-school, the cashiers at the IGA, and Safeway, all the parents at the bus stop, strangers in line at Goodwill, and just about anyone who will make eye contact with Bits. 

Yesterday she yelled, at the top of her lungs "I POOP IN THE TOILET!"  several times at the drive-thru order screen while I was ordering burgers.  They didn't hear her, so she had to yell some clarifying details when we pulled up to the pick up window.  "THERE'S NO POO IN MY PANTIES, JUST PRETTY PONIES!"

I just smile and ask for extra napkins.


  1. This post made my day! You guys are awesome & conngratulations on her big achievement!

  2. I can't stop laughing! What a touching, funny story Brandon. Miss you guys. A lot!

  3. Good job, Dad. I can't wait to be included in the poopy news chain. See you in 20 days!

  4. I haven't read a post this funny in a long time! Thanks for the laugh... from one parent in the trauma trenches to another.