Upcycled Vintage Lace Stenciled Table Before and After

I've got a before and after for you today.   I found this table, solid wood still great for many years of use but super ugly.

So, you know the procedure by now, clean the stuff off, sand until I can't breath....and paint magic.  This time I tried something a little different.  I found a few yards of vintage lace that had a really great pattern.  After I had a couple of coats of black paint I used some spray starch and ironed the lace on top of the table.  Then I used antique white and painted over the lace.  After the paint dried, well mostly dried, I took the lace off. 

The effect was great, it turned out perfect. 

 

 



 It looks even better in person, measures 42" and is selling for $225.  I have it listed on etsy;
https://www.etsy.com/listing/117987925/hand-painted-distressed-black-and

This would be great for a kitchen table, craft table, game table, dining table.....

Oh, my kids just said it would be great in a retail store too, cuz it looks like a Victoria's Secret panty table......I don't know, did that just ruin it for you?

Potty Mouth

I haven't blogged about the adventures of my large family lately, even though they give me lots of stories I could share.  They don't leave me with lots of time!  This I had to share.

We have been working on potty training for about a decade straight around here, OK not really but it does seem like it.  I'm sure that I have reached some sort of lifetime record for most poopy diapers changed, at one point we had 5 in diapers and one developmentally delayed teen in pull ups!  Holy Crap! Literally.  You get creative disposing of that many diapers..... that's another post.

 

Well, Bits has been working on potty training for almost a year and we are finally having some success, with kids who have a history of trauma it just seems to take longer and be a more difficult transition.  She is three and a half and is finally getting the hang of it. 

This is big news, in the whole community

Recently I had to attend Gellys IEP, this is a meeting with all the service providers at the school for kids who are in Special Ed classes.  No sitter, so the babies were coming with me.  The last IEP meeting the babies came with me too, about 10 minutes into that meeting both of them pooped and filled the small office with a stink cloud that you could almost taste and probably clung to everyone's clothes for the rest of the day, gak.

So when we made it through the entire meeting this time with Bits sitting in the chair next to me and Jack-Jack playing quietly in the stroller, I was thinking, yeah, who's the dad! I'm so awesome, check out my perfectly well behaved non-poopin kids.

Then Bits took control of the meeting. All the paperwork had been signed and there was some chit chat going on as people began to get up.  Bits had waited patiently and sensed here moment.  She put her hands on the table and says, "everyone"  pause until everyone is looking at her, "so... I am totally pooping in the toilet!"  She looks around the room, glowing with pride.  Nobody says anything so she continues,  "sometimes I puuuuush (making a grunting noise) and make a giant, giant daddy poop!  throwing her arms wide!

Me:  Uhhhh.....

Sideways glances at me as they all try not to show on their faces that they just imagined me on the toilet. 

It was at this point that the Speech Therapist jumped right in with enthusiasm and says, "I love to poop on the toilet!"

Bits giggles and turns to the Principal, where do you poop?  She answers that she loves to poop on the toilet too!

We all then proceed to spend the next few minutes talking about where we poop and how much we all love to poo, no seriously this really happened.  And in a totally non creepy way...It gave me so much more confidence in Gelly's teachers.

The combination of a three year old with a personality as big as the sun and a bunch of Special Ed providers, that really get kids, made our poopy meeting kind of touching.  If they could recognize that my three year old needed this fecal fan club (that was funny) and jumped right in to encourage her, they were going to do a great job for my Gelly too.

It did encourage my little potty mouth however...

We have now talked about pooping with everyone at the pre-school, the cashiers at the IGA, and Safeway, all the parents at the bus stop, strangers in line at Goodwill, and just about anyone who will make eye contact with Bits. 

Yesterday she yelled, at the top of her lungs "I POOP IN THE TOILET!"  several times at the drive-thru order screen while I was ordering burgers.  They didn't hear her, so she had to yell some clarifying details when we pulled up to the pick up window.  "THERE'S NO POO IN MY PANTIES, JUST PRETTY PONIES!"

I just smile and ask for extra napkins.

Antique Office Chairs Before and After

 

 

 

 

 

I love old things so when I found a pair of these early 1900's office chairs I loved them despite the fact that they were missing casters and coverd in grime.  One of my favorite parts was the gears and engineering that was put into them to make them ajustable, very industrial. 

 

 

Here's the before

 



 

 

 

Here's the after!

 

 

 

I stripped off all the gunk that had built up over the last hundred years, painted them a deep black, and then distressed ther paint job.  That was followed by a layer of stain.  Then I used some images out of a antique natural history text, illustrations of butterflys and moths and applied those to the chairs.  I love the mix of the natural and the industrial on the chairs, its ugly beautiful.  Finally a hand rubbed sealer for durability.   Oh, I almost forgot I replaced the casters with copper casters.

 

These chairs trigger all my horder instincts, but there is a limit to how many chairs I can have... so these are off to market!

Chalk Paint Farmhouse Green

I'm doing a second post today of furniture because I was able to finish another great project today!   It's a pair of antique dressers that I used my own chalk paint mix to paint.  In a future post I will share the recipe that I'm using and loving the results. 

So once again I didn't take the time to do before pics, use your imagination.

 

 

 

I'll have these at market this weekend too, or contact me for private showing/pick up.



 

 

 

Pink and Grey

Here is a set of furniture that I just upcycled this week, dresser, night stand, vanity and bench.  This is a set of furniture my girls have all been asking to trade out their current furniture.  Sorry girls, its going to market!

It's beautiful vintage french provential and I have used a deep slate-ish grey and a peachy-pink stripe, finished off with a distressing. 

I will have this set at the Fremont Sunday Market tomorrow, unless it sellls today!

 

 

 

 

Contact me via the blog or text, 425-394-3031 for pricing and additional details!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recycled Brown Paper Bag Dresser

In an effort to keep the brood fed and clothed I have been re-doing vintage furniture and making jewelry to sell at farmers markets for years, its lots of fun....especially if you have a hoarder gene like I do... and it allows a parent to always be available when the kids need one.  Even if said parent is constantly covered in paint, saw dust, and acrylic sealer!

Here is one of my pieces that makes use of recycled paper bags!  First the before, a thrift store find that was really hideous.

 



 

Thick brown latex over orange over who knows what.... no hardware, yuck....but I'm kinda a furniture visionary,  I could sense its inner beauty.  OK, just kidding... it was super cheap, but well built; ugly but quality bones,  I can work with that. 

If I was one of those awesome bloggers that documents everything with amazing pictures I would now show you the pictures of stripping all the gunk off, sanding, priming and repairing.

Then I would have some great pictures of a stack of brown paper shopping bags before they are torn up and soaked in acrylic medium and carefully applied to the dresser.

Next I would have pictures of the special paint that has iron grindings in it that I then oxidize to create the rusted trim.

Finally there would be pictures of my stockpile of vintage drawer pulls that I rummaged through to select the eclectic mix of mismatched pulls on the chest. 

But, I'm not that cool yet so I'll just skip to the finished product

A recycled brown paper bag dresser, with rusted trim and eclectic pulls.  Seriously, a buyer from Anthropology should discover me!

 

 

 



I love how the paper almost looks like leather, and the rust makes it look kinda industrial.   I will have this piece at the Fremont Sunday market this week!  Thanks for looking!



Happy Homemaker

So earlier in the week we were at the dentist with the kids and Hot Mama was filling out all the paperwork for insurance while I wrangled the kids in the lobby.  This was really a treat because it has been years since we were both at any appointment with the kids at the same time. 

This meant that I didn't  have to hold one kid down with my foot while a sat on another to fill out the paperwork.  I was thinking to myself this is so nice and sat down next to Hot Mama as she finished the forms and notice that she had listed my occupation as.....homemaker.....

Agh! Why are you filling that out in pen?  I can't erase that now!  "What are you talking about?"  she asked me.  "I know all the birth dates."

Immediately images of this came into my mind:

Someone please save me if this is how my wife sees me!  When you say homemaker in relation to a man there is no good image that comes to mind!!

"Homemaker, really?'' I asked.

I got the one raised eyebrow that said,  I was a  homemaker for years and if you are going to tell me that there is something wrong with being a homemaker I'm gonna let you have it,  because its a hard, important job and if your gonna try to minimize that by saying because your a guy you can't be a homemaker then bring it on....you wanna have that fight right here?

Yes, she really can say that much in just a look.

"OK" I say, "then can you at least change the spelling to homemakgrrrrr?  I can be nurturing and dangerous right?"

It was then we were called back for tartar scraping so I had to leave it at that.

Later when we got home I told the older kids that Hot Mama had list me as a homemaker on the paperwork.

Megs says "ewww, gross flower print dresses, and baking bread!"

Exactly, nobody wants to look at their dad and think that,  the dress anyway, they love it when I bake bread.

Megs, "maybe kid wrangler, but not homemaker"

Kid wrangler?  Nurturing... possibly dangerous...I'll consider it.

Anyway, for years I have been leaving that portion of insurance forms blank, and I fill out a lot of those forms, for just this reason.  I can't reconcile what I do as a .......homemaker with the girlie image that goes along with that title.

Might be time to just get over it.

The truth is I do all the things that go along with being a person who makes a home, much of that mundane and laborious and some miraculous,  and I'm proud of that.  And if I really look at the day to day of it all it doesn't have a gender.  The last time I was scrubbing hard water rings out of the toilets I wasn't thinking "wow this is kind of girlie".   And I'm not sure, but I think Hot Mama finds it attractive when I slip into a apron and bake up some bread in my perfectly clean kitchen.

Being a homemaker means love and service, to your family and friends.  Making your home a place that they want to be, that they feel safe and loved.  A home that you and your family always want to come back to.

True, I sometimes mess this up by freaking out that they are all slobs that never pick up after themselves after I have spent the whole day "homemaking"....

But I'm a homemakgrrrr, nurturing....and dangerous.

Market Preview!

Here is a peek at some of the great furniture that I will be taking to the Fremont Sunday market tomorrow.  I am taking a big truck so this is just some of the great stuff that will be there!

See you there! 

P.S.
I can ship to anywhere in the USA, so if you see something you like let me know.