Or they would say things like, "your really brave to do that I would worry about what it would do to my kids." Or my favorite, "I would do foster care but I don't want to expose my family to those kind of kids."
Yeah, we hear it all the time!
As my twins are about to turn 16 in a couple of days I have been thinking a lot about the adults they are so quickly becoming. They are extrodinary in every way, Hot Mama and I could not be prouder of them, or the rest of the bunch too. It is impossible not to think about how they have grown in realtion to how our family has changed in the last couple of years. We did worry about what becoming foster parents would do to our kids. It hasn't always been easy for them, but its not easy to be a foster child either....here is some of what our kids have learned.
Hard things are worth doing, and easier if you work together.
If you see something wrong in the world, you do something about it, don't wait for someone else to do it.
Small choices lead to big concequences.
Doing physical therapy with a 3 year old can be tons of fun.
Pick good friends.
Education prevents poverty.
From some amazing parents of our foster kids they learned that even if you really mess up in life if you are willing to take responsibility for your mistakes and work hard almost everything can be overcome...don't give up.
Stay away from addiction.
Some times there are excuses, but sometimes there are reasons, be compassionate, don't judge too quickly
Love is complicated, but should be freely given
Time outs work.
It feels good to be needed.
How to make a bottle, change a diaper, wipe a nose, hold a hand, fold one of those giant strollers.
Have high expectations for yourself and those around you, you can overcome labels, circumstances, and the past.
How to help without being asked.
One person can make a difference.
Even if you don't have a lot you will be blessed if you share every last bit of it.
Really that is just a small part of what our kids, and us have learned as a foster/adoptive family. Yes there have been plenty of hard days and tears but there have also been triumphs in greater numbers. You realize that your heart is bigger than you thought, that your time is more flexible, your kids are more capable, and there is usually room for one more.
I'm so glad that we exposed our family to those kind of kids.